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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23283457">Duality</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mixthealphabet/pseuds/izlaria'>izlaria (mixthealphabet)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders-centric, Canon Compliant, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Maybe clues towards a Deceit redemption arc, Missing Moments, Ships will be minor probably, Unsympathetic Deceit Sanders, just so many headcanons</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:13:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,092</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23283457</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mixthealphabet/pseuds/izlaria</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When the split happened, it didn't mean much. Light and dark sides simply fell into their roles.<br/>Then Anxiety started manifesting into the physical world and things started getting... complicated.</p><p>This is a story about how Virgil found his way into the light sides, and why.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil &amp; Creativity | Roman &amp; Logic | Logan &amp; Morality | Patton, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders &amp; Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders &amp; Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders &amp; Morality | Patton Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Taking on anxiety</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This idea came to me while I watched the PMV Multiple Animater Project called Duality that is currently hosted by kenmarlenn on YouTube. Not only is it amazing, but it told a story about the inclusion of Virgil that inspired me terribly.<br/>I wanted to go back to his arc and try to create conversations that might have happened out of camera and that could add to the current plot.<br/>Another video that I really recommend and that follows that same storyline is the Into the unknown animatic by Erisolshipper.<br/>Kudos to those artists, because they are truly amazing.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Did you have fun today, dear Anxiety?”</p><p>Deceit was leaning against the counter, where a second earlier had only existed empty space. Virgil didn’t turn to look at him fully, but he could still feel the air of censure that emanated from the other side.</p><p>They had talked about this before, about how it would be easier to maintain a hold on Thomas if they didn’t manifest themselves physically, but it was difficult to keep true to that agreement when he was being called on so often.</p><p>A less sound reasoning was that Virgil just really enjoyed talking to Thomas.</p><p>The sides had always existed within the man, but the ability to project outwardly had created a shift in the mindscape, and the facets of Thomas’ personality had slowly turned into fully realized embodiments. Their complexity grew and, with it, so did Virgil’s desire to experience new things, to talk and fight and make himself heard.</p><p>What he had once considered peace, in their quiet corner of the mind, now became a suffocating somberness.</p><p>“You know I don’t go up for fun, Deceit,” he answered meekly, despite the heat that flashed against his chest and throat. Virgil hadn’t expected anyone to notice his absence and now he felt caught, ashamed that he’d succumbed to his weakness for Thomas’ attention.</p><p>“Why, but we all know how fun you can be.” He watched as Deceit leaned his head to one side, lips stretched into a smirk. The mockery grated at Virgil’s patience and the ache grew inside him. “I simply can’t imagine how those three must have reacted.”</p><p>“It was just the prince, this time.” Virgil moved so that his back was to Deceit, then grimaced. He hadn’t meant to enter into specifics. Sometimes, the truth slipped out before he could think, a fact that never failed to get him in trouble. He rushed to cover up his mistake, “The guy is so full of himself, it leaves no space for the rest.”</p><p>Deceit hummed, and Virgil could feel him move around the kitchen. Under scrutiny, the calmness that talking to Thomas and Lily had instilled in him slowly dissolved.</p><p>“Yes,” Deceit stretched the word into a hiss. “I can tell how much you <em>dislike</em> his presence.”</p><p>It was a jape, if Virgil had ever heard one. Instead of responding, he hunched further over his lukewarm coffee, shrinking away from the inquisitive gaze of his friend.</p><p>Did he dislike the prince? Virgil thought he had a healthy suspicion of every side and Roman’s role as Remus’ twin certainly didn’t work in his favor. The man was easy to anger, unpredictable as his brother and self-righteous to boot, all characteristics that got on Virgil’s nerves.</p><p>Still, from Deceit’s mouth, it didn’t sound quite right.</p><p>“Not like it matters.” Virgil looked over at the other. Deceit had sidled up to him, by the sink, and the look on his dual-toned features leaned more towards curiosity than disapproval now, which was a relief. “They basically chased me out.”</p><p>Deceit rolled his eyes. “The light sides are certainly welcoming.”</p><p>“Do you have to call them that?” Virgil made a face at him. “Light and dark. That’s such bullshit.”</p><p>“Sensitive,” Deceit remarked with a click of his tongue. “I thought you enjoyed those little monikers, with how you seem to seek out the good –” and this he said with a sneer – “Creativity twin.”</p><p>The heat from earlier advanced, from his chest and up his cheeks. Virgil was glad for the foundation that hid his reaction from view.</p><p>“I don’t seek him out!” he bit back. “I just –!” He thrust his mug into the sink, and it clanked messily against the dishes settled there. No room was exempt from Remus’ degree of filth. “I just need Thomas to listen!” Not giving enough time for Deceit to intervene, Virgil pushed away from the counter and stood in the middle of the kitchen, hands fisted at his sides. “The others have gotten so loud, so much more influential! I needed to try something!”</p><p>“Even if that something hurts you?”</p><p>The question caught him off guard. Virgil blinked at Deceit, focusing on the man and not in the darkness that had edged its way into his vision.</p><p>Amid the backhanded insults and the trickery, he tended to forget that Deceit was also his friend. The weight of mismatched eyes drained Virgil of the anger he had just mustered. He felt tired, exhausted even, from social interaction and from the ups and downs of his mood.</p><p>“The way the others talk about me… They think I’m the bad guy, that I’m dark – whatever that means – just because I’m trying to protect Thomas.” Virgil shrugged, looking down at his worn converses so he couldn’t see the comprehension that was sure to dawn on Deceit. His expression hardened. “Well, I can give them a bad guy.”</p><p>“Anxiety,” Deceit interjected in mock horror, “I did know you had it in you!”</p><p>Virgil wasn’t sure what way to take that, but there was appreciation in Deceit’s tone, so he didn’t care. Even among the residents of this part of the mindscape, he was often excluded for not taking an actual stand. He was a grey area, something that the other sides – dark or otherwise – didn’t understand. It was nice when he could find common ground with them.</p><p>“No need to sound that surprised.” He scoffed to disguise the smile that tugged at his lips.</p><p>“Honestly,” Deceit crossed his arms, looking thoughtful, “that can be quite an ingenious little plan, for you to join the others with Thomas and exert your influence there.”</p><p>Virgil hesitated. “What about you?”</p><p>“Me?” Deceit smirked. His exaggerated, sinuous movements were meant to evoke the serpent symbolism of his character, but Virgil couldn’t help but liken it to a peacock’s posturing. Deceit loved his smoke and mirrors. “Thomas still thinks himself an honest man. Who am <em>I</em> to tell him otherwise?”</p><p>He couldn’t suppress a small laugh. Deceit had the worst imitation of innocence he had ever seen.</p><p>“So I go up there and what? Turn them against one another?”</p><p>“Wouldn’t that be nifty?” Deceit pressed his hands together in his best impression of Patton, before letting the façade drop. It made Virgil’s skin crawl. “No, they are much too consistent and you are simply not that effective. We don’t want you to be anything other than what you <em>truly</em> are.”</p><p>“Which is?” Virgil prompted with a growl.</p><p>“A defeatist,” replied Deceit with a wave of his hand. “The grey cloud hanging over Thomas’ head and turning all of Logan’s and Roman’s careful plans into soggy messes.”</p><p>Virgil eyed him dubiously. “So, <em>you</em> want me to be… honest?”</p><p>“I suppose we can go with that, yes.”</p><p>This didn’t seem right, but Virgil supposed it wasn’t in his best interest to argue. He wanted to go talk to the others, even if that meant adding his own twist of chaos to their dynamics.</p><p>It was a selfish desire, in a way. While his main purpose was to keep Thomas from any worst-case-scenarios, Virgil was also aware that his actions were motivated by more than protectiveness. The liveliness of the main trio warmed him, despite their clear distaste for his negative presence. And still he imposed on them.</p><p>He might not be the villain that Roman made him out to be, but Virgil had never claimed to be a good guy.</p><p>“What if…” He glanced at Deceit’s impassive features, before scowling down at the ground. “What if it’s not enough?”</p><p>What if Thomas hated him for it? The question stuck to the back of Virgil’s mind, an uncomfortable reminder of every previous interaction, every frustrating argument. He had accepted his part a long time ago, but never had it seemed more dreadful than now.</p><p>The way the “light” sides acted, they were almost family, friends at the very least. And what did Virgil have? A compulsive liar, whose affection he could never be certain of. Remus and the whispers that fed into his power, into paranoia. And then there was…</p><p>No, at the end of the day, Virgil only had himself.</p><p>“We don’t expect you to be enough,” Deceit said simply, eyes blank as he inspected the room around them. “But you are the boogey man of the mindscape, the personification of Thomas’ fears, and we can <em>use</em> that.” And, here, his expression grew hungry.</p><p>Virgil grinded his teeth to keep from speaking. He was hardly the scariest thing in the mindscape, but he had shielded Thomas from this reality the best he could. If they couldn’t see it, then it wasn’t real.</p><p>“Don’t tell me you’re already having second thoughts,” Deceit teased after a moment of silence, narrowing his eyes at Virgil.</p><p>“I don’t like being told what to do,” Virgil snapped.</p><p>Deceit didn’t look impressed by his anger. He walked past Virgil with a scoff, then paused at the kitchen door.</p><p>“I just think it would do you well, dear Anxiety,” he spit the word out with a degree of venom, “to remember who your friends are.”</p><p>Virgil didn’t bother with a response before sinking down to his room.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The mind vs. the heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Creativity and Anxiety have a talk.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Why are you truly here, Tickle-me emo?”</p><p>Virgil had heard someone approaching, but he had expected it to be Patton on his way to the kitchen or Logan wanting to sit by the window to watch the rain. Roman rarely got up this early on a Saturday and, even when he did, he wouldn’t try to engage Virgil in conversation.</p><p>Virgil had been taken aback the first time his doorway had opened to this area of the mindscape, but Patton hadn’t batted an eye at his presence. And while the others hadn’t exactly welcomed him, there was little the trio could do that would affect Virgil worse than what he had dealt from his “friends” for years.</p><p>Except when it came to Roman’s suspicion of him, apparently.</p><p>“I’m just waiting for breakfast, princey. It’s not like you have domain over the freaking living room.” Virgil fixed the prince with a glare. He was used to Remus’ constant badgering and even his literal battering; there was no reason why Roman should get under his skin.</p><p>“That’s not what I’m talking about, you little nightmare. Here, on this part of the mindscape.” Roman moved his hands widely in his frustration. “Sure, you and Patton are buddy buddy now, but I’m onto you.”</p><p>This got Virgil to put down his phone. He dug his nails into the fabric of the couch in an attempt to calm himself down.</p><p>“Onto me?” he deadpanned. “You know exactly who I am. I’m not hiding anything.”</p><p>Roman did not back down. “You think I haven’t seen you with him? My brother?”</p><p>This statement shouldn’t have incensed Virgil, but it did. He knew Remus better than almost anyone in the mindscape, an association that came from the segregation of the “dark” sides, but also from the duke’s incessant need to be heard.</p><p>He had often overwhelmed Virgil until there was nothing but the gruesome images he created, which sent Thomas into a tailspin.</p><p>As the boy grew older, the thoughts became less frequent, could be picked apart by logic, but they also took on a more realistic, dangerous edge when they came. Remus couldn’t help it, just like Virgil couldn’t stop the panic that rose in him every time the other side appeared at his door.</p><p>“Look, I know there’s bad blood between you and the duke–”</p><p>“Bad blood?” Roman huffed incredulously. “Remus wastes no opportunity to endanger those around him. You are no different.”</p><p>The anger in his voice exasperated Virgil even more. Roman liked to act as if he was the only one affected by Remus’ antics, despite every evidence of the contrary. He condemned his brother’s actions and extended his dislike to whomever he pleased.</p><p>But Virgil didn’t know how to deny this.</p><p>The image Roman had of him had been tainted by years of arguments, but also by Virgil’s apathy to Remus’ abuse. Guilt churned in his stomach, bubbling anxiety up his esophagus, and yet it was rage that spilled out into his tongue.</p><p>“That’s rich, coming from you!” Virgil perched on the couch cushion, tensed and ready for a fight.</p><p>The prince’s expression contorted with confusion and disbelief. “What’s that supposed to mean?”</p><p>“It means that if there’s someone in the mindscape who has turned their back on what Remus does, then that’s you!”</p><p>Roman was a hypocrite, something that Virgil had already known. The prince hid behind a façade of nobility, as if that could erase his true cowardness. He had abandoned Remus and had fed into the divide of the mindscape, because that limited the times he would have to deal with his brother.</p><p>Through the reinforcement of the split domains, Roman had rid himself from the duke and from all the sides who could be considered dark. He had locked Virgil in with <em>them</em>.</p><p>Somehow, the division was weakening. He was here now, and Roman would have to deal with it.</p><p>“I have only ever helped Thomas!” The side went red as he said this. “We– He,” Roman took a moment to close his eyes and recompose himself, “<em>he</em> has only tried to do the right thing. Thomas has done nothing to warrant such nuisances tormenting him.”</p><p>Virgil pushed off the couch to stand in front of Roman, arms open wide. “I got news for you, you royal asshole, we’re all part of Thomas!” He scoffed. “I’ve told ya before, you can’t just quit me.” Virgil dropped the smirk and looked Roman head on, lips twisted in disgust. “Quit us.”</p><p>The thought scared him, even if he would never let Roman know this.</p><p>Virgil had experienced firsthand how damaging Deceit’s brand of protection could be, not to mention the others. There was good in them, too, but no one was perfect and Thomas certainly had his fair share of flaws.</p><p>The anxiety that Virgil personified also contributed to keeping at bay these less palatable aspects of Thomas’ personality. His influence forced Thomas to care about how he was perceived by others or how his actions affected the world. Remus and Deceit couldn’t be erased, but they could be contained.</p><p>“I might not have the power to vanquish you,” Roman kept on, unaware of Virgil’s own musings, “but I refuse to let you run around unchecked!” He posed, anger momentarily forgotten in favor of his usual theatrics. “It is my role as the prince to combat the evil forces that inhabit the mindscape and to make sure their impact remains limited!”</p><p>And wasn’t that a scarily similar thought process?</p><p>“You’ve only succeeded in pissing everybody off,” Virgil replied with a roll of his eyes.</p><p>The prince looked offended. “I am not responsible for the split, Mr. Going-overboard confessional.” He seemed more annoyed than choleric, now. “None of us is. I am not –” He struggled with what to say. “I am not responsible for my brother.”</p><p>“Sure,” Virgil knew he still sounded doubtful, “but neither am I.”</p><p>His dry response got the expected reaction. Roman scowled and pouted, put-out by the turn of the conversation. He wanted someone to blame and Virgil was the obvious scapegoat, being the intruder in their area of the mindscape.</p><p>“That still doesn’t explain your sudden appearance. Nor why the others remain so silent.”</p><p>“Are you complaining?” He raised an eyebrow at Roman, who scoffed.</p><p>“About your existence, of course.”</p><p>“You really do flatter me, princey.” Virgil flashed him a smirk. “Didn’t know I made you so hot and bothered.”</p><p>Roman spluttered, going into a rant about how Virgil had a habit of twisting his words. It was a funny sight, especially because the creative side liked to pretend to be so well-collected, even if Virgil could tell this was far from the truth. As Thomas’ ego, he was a mixture of projected confidence and deep-rooted insecurities, all wrapped in extravagant delusions.</p><p>It was why Virgil found it so easy to antagonize him: the brashness and the lack of forethought both creativities showcased. He had opposed both Roman and Remus. Often. For years. And it had put him in a position of marginalization from almost everyone in the mindscape.</p><p>Except for the times when he had worked with Deceit in convincing Thomas to lie, or when he let himself fall prey to Remus, Virgil was ignored. It suited him well enough. He enjoyed staying in his room, away from the triggers of social contact.</p><p>So why, when his door suddenly opened to the other side of the split, had Virgil decided to leave the comfort of his bed?</p><p>There were steps coming down the stairs and then Patton and Logan were there. Roman fell silent at their appearance and, though his faked innocence seemed to satisfy the paternal side, it was clear by the sharpness of Logan’s gaze that he knew something was up.</p><p>“Kiddos, I can’t believe everyone’s already awake!” Patton chimed in, almost too exuberant for 9 am. “What a bunch of early birds! So egg-citing!” He laughed to himself.</p><p>“Exciting, yes.” Logan fiddled tiredly with his glasses. “Since we are all up, we should eat as soon as possible. You can go on, Patton, and I will join you in preparations as soon as I have spoken to these two.”</p><p>Patton took in Virgil and Roman’s stances, then the somberness of Logan’s expression, and nodded. His smile didn’t lose its brightness, but Virgil wondered if he was giving the side too little credit in regard to his perception of things. It was just like him to try to steamroll any awkwardness.</p><p>“I guess I <em>am</em> late on starting breakfast,” Patton conceded with playful solemnity. “Better get cracking!” He mimicked cracking an egg, which earned a breath of laughter from both Roman and Virgil. Logan groaned, but his eyes were fond.</p><p>It was for this, Virgil supposed. This was why he had come out of his room, despite the prince’s resentment. Not only Patton’s warmth, but for the tranquility that Logan radiated when he wasn’t provoked, and for the tenderness in their interactions with one another.</p><p>It was the truth that had been missing when he first told Deceit that he would be manifesting into the physical world, that it was not just Thomas’ attention Virgil wanted.</p><p>Logan waited until Patton had disappeared into the kitchen to start speaking.</p><p>“I don’t know what this is about and I do not care.” Logan sighed, brows furrowed once more. He looked tired still, which didn’t come as a shock. Virgil had awakened far earlier than normal and it had sent Thomas into a morning panic of chores and bills. Logic had most likely been called upon. “We have a full schedule for the day and Thomas cannot afford internal conflict.”</p><p>“That is truly an inspiring speech, Logan, but I could do without the condescension,” Roman remarked, a touch of outrage in his tone.</p><p>And Deceit thought Virgil was sensitive. Really.</p><p>“And I could do without your ego, but here we are.” The lack of inflection in his retort did nothing to appease Roman, who looked as if he’d been struck. Logan saw this, too, because he ran a hand over his face. “Listen. Since the last video, Morality and I have agreed to share chores within the mindscape, in order to curb our disagreements. Your insistence on conflict not only hinders our objective of maintaining peace, but is also inherently egotistical.”</p><p>Virgil crossed his arms, looking smug.</p><p>“So princey is acting selfish? No news there.”</p><p>Logan eyed his testily. “You are both acting selfish. I refuse to take sides.”</p><p>“I’m not the one who started this fight!” Virgil gestured towards Roman. “I was minding my own business when knockoff prince charming started laying into me for being on this side of the mindscape.”</p><p>Frowning, Logan turned to look at Roman. “Is this true, Creativity?”</p><p>For the first time that morning, Roman looked truly berated. He shifted from one foot to the other, eyes on the ground.</p><p>“You cannot say this change does not worry you, Logic.” Roman continued to glare at their feet. “The balance has shifted in their favor.”</p><p>Before Virgil could go on the offensive, Logan was raising a hand to stop them.</p><p>“I see what the problem is, now.” He adjusted his glasses. “Roman, you have to accept that Anxiety is one of us. His presence here is inconsequential to the functioning of Thomas’ mind and so it should not bother you.”</p><p>“Inconsequential?” Roman finally looked up, eyes flashing. “You call his repeated slander of Disney, his exaggerations and pessimism over the simplest choices, inconsequential?”</p><p>“Those were all thoughts Thomas was already aware of. The fact that Anxiety is here has only forced <em>you</em> to confront them.”</p><p>Roman glared, but he didn’t seem to have another rebuttal. He turned forcefully away from Logan, as if the side had mortally offended him.</p><p>Unaffected by this display of anger, Logan simply clasped his hands together with an air of finality. “Now that the situation has been resolved, I advise you to move into the kitchen in order not to worry Morality any further.”</p><p>With a final look towards Virgil, he went to join Patton at breakfast.</p><p>“Don’t think that I will let my guard down just because you’ve gotten google-wannabe on your side.” The statement was hushed, but the volume hid nothing of the venom these words carried. Virgil was startled to realize how much he sounded like Remus.</p><p>It made Virgil’s throat close down with panic, but he could not show it.</p><p>“You do you, princey.” He waved his hand dismissively and walked up the stairs, having suddenly lost his appetite.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Feedback is very much appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Losing my motivation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Something had changed in the dynamics of the mindscape and Virgil couldn't pinpoint what it was.</p><p>Patton maybe had an idea.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Virgil hadn't meant to sink down into the mindscape's living room, but there he was. It was the second video in a row where he was unable to move back to the other side of the split, a fact that agitated him, as he didn’t understand what it meant.</p><p>Something had shifted between Virgil and the other sides since the Valentine’s day video, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was. There was less hostility between them, for sure, and the lack of disgusted glares from Roman was a plus, but Virgil disliked not knowing where he stood.</p><p>He had become part of the core characters of Thomas’ videos. It didn’t translate into complete acceptance from the others, but it did imply a certain sense of kinship that made their interactions much more pleasant. He felt more comfortable among them, even included at times.</p><p>They had said they loved him. That had to account to something.</p><p>Part of Virgil feared what Deceit might say; a possible reason as to why his form was stuck to this side of the mindscape. He didn’t want to deal with the consequences of his actions, especially when Deceit had so often pointed out that he shouldn’t get attached. A truce with the light sides could be nothing but temporary.</p><p>Virgil wondered when it would end, what comment would cross a line.</p><p>It was not in his nature to hold back his thoughts. The impulse for fight and flight alternated within him, and the words slipped past before Virgil could stop them. He was antagonistic and harsh without necessity, bitter and jealous from years being pushed aside.</p><p>Logan had already realized this, so it was only a matter of time until the others started blaming him for things too.</p><p>As he caught the tail end of another look from Roman, Virgil couldn’t help but frown.</p><p>“You have to understand, kiddo,” and Patton was by his side, all smiles, “they don’t know what to make of you.”</p><p>Virgil tilted his head minimally to look at him, not wanting to appear too interested. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“Well,” Patton tapped a finger against his chin. “Logan doesn’t mind you, he is neutral like that, but Roman sees things as so very black and white.” He grimaced. “I guess I do too, but…” He didn’t finish that thought, shaking his head. “I know that what Logan said today, about you being the antagonist, was probably hurtful.” Virgil tried to protest, but Patton tutted at him. “Don’t try that on me. Your pop sees everything.”</p><p>He looked so puffed up and silly that Virgil smiled despite the embarrassment that warmed his cheeks.</p><p>“I know how I come across, Pat,” Virgil admitted with a small sigh.</p><p>“You come across as something precious, Anxiety.” Though the words were stupidly cheerful, Patton’s tone was completely serious. Virgil ducked his head down to hide his expression. “Don’t do that. I’m being honest.”</p><p>Virgil knew he was. It was almost comforting to trust another side’s intentions, especially when he’d spent so much time trying to discern Deceit’s manipulation of words. Across the mindscape, the other had been the closest thing Virgil had had to a guiding figure and Patton’s every act seemed to shed a light on how poisonous Deceit’s treatment had actually been.</p><p>Because Deceit… Yes, he had allowed the insecurities that snaked around Virgil’s mind to advance, had even contributed to the hold they had on Thomas, but, through his lies, he had also made Virgil powerful.</p><p>Doubt and loyalty warred inside Virgil, incited further by Morality’s genuine kindness.</p><p>As if recognizing the thoughts reeling through his mind, Patton let the smile slip off his face, shifting to look out the window. Virgil stared, unsure of what to do.</p><p>“I know the others don’t always take me seriously, but I do love all of you and I want to protect you.” His lips quirked up faintly. “Thomas says I’m not his dad, and of course I know that. It’s just… I’m the oldest, in a way. I guided you all the best I could.” He let out a heavy, almost shaky breath. “And maybe I failed sometimes, but all I did, I did with love.”</p><p>“Why are you telling me all this?” Virgil shuffled his feet uncomfortably.</p><p>Patton looked at him once more, then moved to sit on the couch and patted the space at his side. Virgil joined him, putting some more distance between them.</p><p>“Out of all the sides, I think I see you and Roman as my kids the most, and I know how much of a burden that might seem.” Patton rubbed his eyes under his glasses. “You two are so alike, sometimes. So rash, so insecure.”</p><p>“If I wanted to be psychoanalyzed, I’d have have gone into the imagination to find Picani,” Virgil commented drily, starting to get up. Patton stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>“Roman feels threatened by you. That’s why he responds so badly to being defied. He, you, Logan. You take criticism and you let it fester inside you, so when it gets out, it bursts out as anger.” Patton dropped his hand back to his lap. “The resentment he feels is something I allowed. When the split happened, I thought it was for the best, but now– Now I don’t know what to think.”</p><p>Virgil thought of the damage Remus could do. Even when mollified, the duke never lost his edge of chaos and he peppered it over any space he could put his hands on. Virgil had hated him, but he had gotten used to it.</p><p>The idea of letting him loose on this side of the mindscape was terrifying.</p><p>“You don’t know the others like I do.” Virgil grinded his teeth. “They would ruin <em>everything</em>.”</p><p>Patton just kept looking at him. He seemed sad and confused and heartbroken in a way that made Virgil’s chest constrict.</p><p>“That might be true, Anxiety, but is it moral?” His voice wasn’t loud, but it filled the room with its gravity. The shock must have shown in Virgil’s face, because not a second had passed before Patton was backtracking. “Sorry, I’m being silly. This has nothing to do with you.” He cleared his throat, expression softening until there was no sign of his previous disquiet. He looked happy, again.</p><p>Virgil was reminded that Thomas was actually a really good actor.</p><p>“Were you–” He hesitated, cowardness creeping up and jumbling his tongue. “Were you responsible for the split, Morality?”</p><p>The other side wasn’t taken aback, but his lips pressed into a line, for just a moment, and Virgil knew it was Patton’s way of keeping himself together.</p><p>“Responsible? No. I don’t think so.” Patton drummed his fingers against the couch. “But I wonder… Did I worsen it? Like Roman did?”</p><p>His eyes betrayed the sadness he felt, Virgil mused. It was the kind of self-reflection he had never seen in Deceit or the others, and it reinforced his belief that he had to protect them. From the dark sides.</p><p>“They are not like I am, Patton. You know that.” Virgil lifted an arm, showcasing the sleeve of his hoodie. “Black and white, that’s what you said. And I’m all gray-scale.”</p><p>For some reason, this warranted a small chuckle from Patton.</p><p>“What are you talking about, Anxiety?” He chuckled, knocking his elbow against Virgil’s side. “There is so much color in you. You just can’t see it, yet.”</p><p>Virgil doubted this was true, but it was nice of Patton to say so.</p><p>“Whatever potential you might see, you’re the only one.” The statement sounded maybe a little too self- deprecating, if Patton’s responding frown was anything to go by.</p><p>Thankfully, the moral side seemed to change focus. “Roman will come around. He has this idea of who you are and what you do, but I have a feeling…” He paused, smiling. “I have a feeling we just don’t have the full picture yet.”</p><p>“And Logic?” Virgil prompted, still skeptic, but also amused.</p><p>“Logan loves us,” as Patton said this, Virgil thought there was a strange flush to his complexion. “Even if he can’t quite recognize it yet. He knows you serve a purpose, just as we all do. If you give him a chance to know you, he will be your friend. He just won’t say it in so many words.”</p><p>Virgil laughed.</p><p>“You are really smart under all that fluff, aren’t ya?”</p><p>“There’s nothing wrong with a bit of fluff, son.” Patton blinked, mischievously innocent. “We both know it’s marshmallow goodness.”</p><p>“Oh my God.” Virgil snickered into his hand. “I guess you’re right, dad.”</p><p>The screech of joy that followed had Virgil throwing himself sideways on the couch, only to be buried under Patton’s weight in a suffocating, haphazard hug.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Guys, tell me what you think, because the silence is killing me!</p><p>Also, you can find me at izlaria or hestialied on tumblr.</p>
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